I’m not the most motivated person in the world, as my parents and friends would tell you.
I tend to get very motivated about something for a time, but when that motivation fades, my discipline doesn’t always kick in. On the surface, I think this is due to two factors:
- Lack of willpower
- Convenient and cheap distractions (social media, video games, Netflix…)
This is something I continue to work on – it is one of the great ongoing challenges of my life. But after I was laid off from my corporate job and I suddenly had all the time in the world to think, I realized part of the reason why I lacked willpower and succumbed easily to cheap distractions was because I was living a life I had not entirely designed for myself.
As children, our whole world is designed for us by our parents, guardians and the adults around us. Things like where we live, our school curriculum, what hobbies we are encouraged and discouraged to pursue, the expectations set upon us. We can make small decisions, such as what friends to have, what we want to eat, or what kind of entertainment we like, but the big stuff is laid out for us. There’s nothing wrong with that, that’s just how life starts out – mostly pre-determined.
Once we graduate high school and either begin working or pursuing secondary education, that transition often marks a divergence where we begin to assume responsibility for ourselves and our life. We start to lay some of the bricks in our road, per say. We may choose to live somewhere new, try new hobbies or lifestyles without the intervention of our parents, and pick a tentative career path to work towards in our studies or daily toils. But still, that choice – to attend college or university, to work in a certain field – is still much influenced and shaped by the expectations of our family and peers.
“You need to go to college so you can get a good job and make a certain amount of money.”
“You’ve always done/been good at X, you should pursue that!”
In short, the choices for our future we make at 17 or 18 are still very much influenced and determined by people other than ourselves.
But once we finish our education, once we move out of our parents’ house, once all the bills are made out in our name – things get real. Suddenly, every lane and exit on the road of life is available to take. We could veer off course and pursue a completely different career or lifestyle than before. Or give in to vice and party every single night. Or we could sell all our stuff and become a monk. But most people, in my experience, choose to keep things the same. To follow the path laid out for them. And that’s ok.
But it wasn’t ok for me.
That was what the existential anxiety and restlessness I felt for years was trying to tell me – that the road laid out for me was not the right one, and I had to pull over full-stop and try something completely different. That’s when I decided to travel, to see what other potential paths I might stumble across.
There was so much I didn’t know about my home country, let alone the world. I wanted to see so many things. The United States is mind-bogglingly vast and diverse, and having a car made it extremely accessible to me – so I started there.
A month after I was laid off (see Part 1 of this article), I packed everything I owned into the trunk of my tiny beat-up Chevy Cobalt, planned a rough six-month road trip around the U.S., and left. It was hands down the biggest leap of faith I have ever taken.
And as I drove from New York to Pennsylvania (my first stop) on a chilly January morning, a feeling began to creep over me.
Something new.
A nervous heat grew in my chest, and a vibration spread throughout my body. I began to tap my hands on the steering wheel to no particular music, and a long-suppressed, near-indestructible smile gathered on my face as I rolled down the window to breathe in the winter air.
Freedom.
But not just the ethereal sense of freedom that the open road often bestows. Beyond that was something more tangible.
It was the feeling of being in complete control.
From that point on, whether or not I failed or succeeded was the complete and direct result of my own actions. My road was unknown, uncertain, full of so many possible risks and rewards, but I was building it – every single brick. My life was mine, win or lose.
Over the next six months, I experienced some of the most incredible sights and experiences the United States has to offer. Breathtaking national parks, rollicking city nightlife, incredible food, and diverse people. I slept in an eerily-silent desert, summited an ice-covered mountain without proper gear, got COVID in Hawaii, took road trips with strangers, and even met a U.S. Congressman!
After that, I got the opportunity to travel to India with several friends, which was both amazing (food) and horrifying (food poisoning). More on that in a separate post, but in short it only served to fuel my desire to see the broader world even more.
That brings us to today, where I’m preparing to spend a couple of months backpacking solo in East Asia. This will be my first true “backpacking” trip, so I’m hoping it will bring a whole host of exciting new experiences and challenges.
To be honest, I don’t know where all of this is leading me.
It’s not the most sustainable path in the long-term, financially speaking.
But I do know that no matter the challenges I face in the future, choosing my own road is something I will not regret.
Wish me luck!
-Nick
The Scruffy Traveler 